Tag: humour

End of year Blog, a bit early

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My goal for 2017 was to lose just 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go.

With that in mind, I ate a salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomato.  It was a big crouton covered in tomato sauce and cheese … okay-okay …it was a pizza…close enough!

Walked into a spider web – cardio is done for the week.

Finished my 14 day diet in only one day … Now I’m ready for the holidays.

I may not be funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this.  Oh well, I think I’ll just put an “out of order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Pastorwardclinton.com

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A guy goes into a bar in New York where all the bartenders are robots

The guy sits down at the bar and the robot asks: “What will you have?
The guy replies, “Whiskey.”The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

The guy says, “168”
The robot talks about physics, space exploration, and medical
technology.

After the guy leaves, he pauses at the street corner and thinks about what he just encountered, and the more he thinks about it the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back.
The robot asks, “What’s your drink?”

The guy answers, “Whiskey.”
The robot returns with his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?”
This time the man replies, “100.”
The robot talks about Nascar, Budweiser, LSU and All-star Wrestling.

The man finishes his drink, leaves, but is so interested in this
“experiment” that he decides he’ll try again.
He enters the bar and, as usual, the robot asks him what he wants to drink.

The man replies, “Whiskey.”
The robot brings the drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?”
This time the man answers, “50.”
The robot leans in real close and slowly asks,
“So, are you people still unhappy that Hillary lost?”

Nacho

Exercise for People Over 60

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No automatic alt text available.

This will work for the upper body and arms but there is another exercise people over 60 can do. Get a standard cinder block and place it in the center of an open area in the floor or on the lawn. Now place your right foot parallel to the block no more than 3 feet away. Now(remember to start slowly until you get used to the strain) take a single step forward. Now take another step bearing to the side on which you positioned the block. Continue to perform the previous step up you have completely circled the cinder block 3 times. Now grab your phone and call everybody you know to let the know you’ve just walked around the block 3 times and hardly even out of breath.